Forgiveness -Talk

As members of the Church of Jesus Christ (2 Nephi 25:26) "we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins."  This verse in 2 Nephi 25:26 teaches us that if we learn about Christ and follow his perfect example that we can know where to look for a remission of sins meaning that we can be forgiven of our sins.  As we follow His example we will also learn how to forgive others.   I wish to speak today about  both of these sides of forgiveness.

To be forgiven:
We all have sinned and felt the awful feelings that come after having done something in contrast to what Heavenly Father would have us do.  To be forgiven we must (1) recognize and acknowledge our wrong doing.   At times we need extra help with this first step and other times we just know that what we have done was wrong.
I would like to share a story about my son.  One day some of the cousins had come over to play.  They started to play girl club and #2 Boy wasn't included since he wasn't a girl.  He came to me in tears wanting to be a part of the games they were playing.  After talking to the girls about how this wasn't kind they decided to play something that would include#2 Boy .  The following day, #2 Boy was playing a game.  This time #4 Boy came to me in tears because he wasn't being included.  After comforting #4 Boy I called #2 Boy to me.  I asked him about what was going on.  He explained that the game wasn't one a two year old could play.  I then asked him how he felt just the day before when his sisters and cousins had left him out of their games.  As I spoke those words there was a look in his eyes of understanding as though it all clicked.  He recognized then what he was doing was wrong.  He knew he had hurt his brother.  He asked #4 Boy to forgive him and then happily included him in a game they could play together.  With those two moments back to back it helped #2 Boy recognize and acknowledge that what he was doing was wrong. 
We each have little moments like this that some times we don't even recognize we have done something wrong.  Some times we need someone else to help us to recognize our wrong doings.  Who better to help us then our loving Heavenly Father. I believe that is partly why we have been asked to "pray always" (D&C 10:5).  Through this (2) step of prayer two wonderful things can happen.   We can (a) get help recognizing the wrongs we have done and (b) plead for his forgiveness.  He is our Father and loves us very much.  (In Alma 38:8) Alma shows us how important this was when he declared: “I was … in the most bitter pain and anguish of soul; and never, until I did cry out unto the Lord Jesus Christ for mercy, did I receive a remission of my sins. But … I did cry unto him and I did find peace to my soul.”
We must be (3) proactive in our desire to be forgiven.  We must be willing to show Christ that we accept Him and that we are willing to follow His commandments.  We can learn about how being proactive can lead to our own forgiveness from examples in the scriptures.  The story I would like to share is about a woman who was known to be a sinner that comes to Christ seeking forgiveness.  In Luke chapter 7 we can read about this story.
Luke 7:36-50 Women anointing Christ's feet with her tears.
 36 ¶And one of the Pharisees desired him that he would eat with him. And he went into the Pharisee’s house, and sat down to meat. 37 And, behold, a woman in the city, which was a sinner, when she knew that Jesus sat at meat in the Pharisee’s house, brought an alabaster box of ointment, 38 And stood at his feet behind him weeping, and began to wash his feet with tears, and did wipe them with the hairs of her head, and kissed his feet, and anointed them with the ointment. 39 Now when the Pharisee which had bidden him saw it, he spake within himself, saying, This man, if he were a prophet, would have known who and what manner of woman this is that toucheth him: for she is a sinner.  40 And Jesus answering said unto him, Simon, I have somewhat to say unto thee. And he saith, Master, say on. 41 There was a certain creditor which had two debtors: the one owed five hundred pence, and the other fifty. 42 And when they had nothing to pay, he frankly forgave them both. Tell me therefore, which of them will love him most? 43 Simon answered and said, I suppose that he, to whom he forgave most. And he said unto him, Thou hast rightly judged. 44 And he turned to the woman, and said unto Simon, Seest thou this woman? I entered into thine house, thou gavest me no water for my feet: but she hath washed my feet with tears, and wiped them with the hairs of her head. 45 Thou gavest me no kiss: but this woman since the time I came in hath not ceased to kiss my feet. 46 My head with oil thou didst not anoint: but this woman hath anointed my feet with ointment. 47 Wherefore I say unto thee, Her sins, which are many, are forgiven; for she loved much: but to whom little is forgiven, the same loveth little. 48 And he said unto her, Thy sins are forgiven. 49 And they that sat at meat with him began to say within themselves, Who is this that forgiveth sins also? 50 And he said to the woman, Thy faith hath saved thee; go in peace.
This sinner went out of her way to seek Jesus
She even went to a Pharisees home where she probably knew she would be mocked and looked down upon for her sins
She brought ointment
She stood at his feet weeping
She washed his feet with her tears
She wiped them clean with her hair
Then she kissed his feet and anointed them
Christ forgave the women who had sinned because she loved much and had faith... Christ taught in verse 50 that because of these things she was forgiven and could now have peace.
I find it interesting that we learn about this repentance process from someone that was known to be a sinner and that Christ went on to explain to the Pharisee that your love of Christ can be increased through great repentance and forgiveness 
It is only (4) through the atonement, that Christ has made it possible to forgive all men of their sins whether they are smaller day to day sins or large sins that almost make it feel impossible that we could be forgiven.  Christ wants us to repent and be forgiven.  He has pleaded, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.  Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light" (Matthew 11:28-30).
To access His atonement and be forgiven of our sins we must come to know Christ and His teachings.  We must also " accept Him by exercising faith in Him, repenting, receiving baptism by immersion, and the laying on of hands for the gift of the Holy Ghost, and striving faithfully to keep His commandments to the end of our lives (quote from Preach my Gospel page 52)."   Obedience to His commandments gives us power to resist the sins that once weighed down upon us. 
I love this quote by Richard G. Scott (Finding Forgiveness) which reads, "Obedience to all the commandments. Full obedience brings the complete power of the gospel into your life with strength to focus on the abandonment of specific sins. It includes things you might not initially consider part of repentance, such as attending meetings, paying tithing, giving service, and forgiving others. The Lord said: “He that repents and does the commandments of the Lord shall be forgiven.” 13 "
As we repent we must be (5) willing to forgive ourselves.  We must be able to look at our actions separate from whom we are.   I believe this can be one of the hardest things to do.  We must remember that each of us are a Child of God.  We are of Great worth!  No matter what sins and wrong doings we have done, Christ knows that we are each one of Heavenly Father's child.  He knows us personally and is willing to forgive us, and likewise we must also be willing to forgive ourselves.  Forgiving ourselves does not mean that we will not remember the wrongful acts that we have done, but it does mean that we will not feel the heavy burden that once rested on us.  It means that we can feel peace!

To forgive:
In D&C 64:9-10 we read the Words of the Lord as he said, "Ye ought to forgive one another; for he that forgiveth not his brother his trespasses standeth comdemned before the Lord; for there remaineth in him the greater sin.  I, the Lord, will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men."   Isn't it interesting that those who do not forgive carry the greater sin and I, yes, do mean carry... because I believe it is a burden that is carried when we have sinned or have not forgiven others. 
example of someone not forgiving others and filling weighed down
I would like to share a story that illustrates this burden. " In August of 1970,( Mary's) second son, John was murdered  He was only twenty years old.  The brutal and senseless act sent a shock wwave of grief and bitterness through the whole community.  But no one was more hateful than Mary.  The man who killed John was tried, convicted, and sent to prison.  After a few years, he came up for parole.  Mary was at the hearing with her family and friends, giving emotional testimony of the irreparable damage this man had done.  His parole was denied.  She made it her mission to keep him behind bars- in doing so, she continually fanned the fires of her hatred and resentment.  every time he became eligible for parole, she showed up to regurgitate all her bitterness.  Mary felt that her emotions and behavior were both normal and appropriate.  After all, the man had robbed her of her son.  How else should she feel?  But Mary had no peace of mind.  Her health and other relationships were suffering.  She began to question the value of life.  (Joy in the Journey 1998, pg.118-119)
This burden of not forgiving caused her health and relationships to suffer and for her to even question the value of life.  Her hatred and resentment grew.  Luckily she went on to change her attitude and life and after many years she came to forgive the man that had killed her son.  It was after her forgiveness that she was able to find peace.
"Forgiving someone means that with the help of our Father in Heaven, we can cleanse our hearts of anger or hatred toward the offender, cease to dwell on the offense, and feel peace." ("Lesson 34: Forgiving Others," Preparing for Exaltation: Teacher’s Manual, (1998))
As Christ hung on the cross he pleaded to God, "Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do." (Luke 23:34)  I love this simple verse and example because it shows some of the steps that we need to take as we forgive others.  Some things that might help us forgive others shown through Christ's example are to (1) pray to Heavenly Father.  He knew the importance of including God is His forgiveness process.  We also must look to God to help us forgive others.  Some times it is only through great prayer and pleading to God that we can come to the means of forgiving others.  Christ also showed us that (2) speaking the words aloud letting the person know they are forgiven can bring peace.  The people were surrounding him and heard his plea to God for their forgiveness.  This part also brings me to the next point (3) being quick to forgive.  Christ forgave them even while they were in the very act of hatred against him.  How often do we wait too long to give forgiveness.  As we wait the situation is often replayed in our minds over and over again, we start to stew about little things that we hadn't even noticed before and start to create a bad image of the person in our minds.  This is Satan's way of gaining power.  He takes this time to work in our hearts that the act reflects the whole person and makes man turn against man.  If we are quick to forgive and forget than it is easier for us to realize that we are all human.  That we all make mistakes and we all have things that we need to be forgiven of.  This leads us to the last thing that we can gain from Christ's forgiveness as he hung on the cross.  (4) We must be willing to get to know people and understand them on a deeper level.  We must be willing to see them for who they are....Children of God.  As we remember that that they are also Children of God we wil be able to look for the good in people instead of focusing on their faults.  We will then be able to love others as Christ has asked us to. 
Christ explains this love in Matthew 5:44, "Love your enemies, bless them that curse you, do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you."  If we were each able to pray for those that despitefully use us and bless those that curse us, and love our enemies, what a difference we would see in the world around us.   If we can find this Christ-like love then it will be easier to always forgive others.
I am grateful for the atonement of Christ.  It is through His great atonement that we have the chance to be forgiven of our sins and also practice forgiving others.  Christ has set the perfect example for us.  That is why (2 Nephi 25:26) "we talk of Christ, we rejoice in Christ, we preach of Christ, we prophesy of Christ, and we write according to our prophecies, that our children may know to what source they may look for a remission of their sins."   May we each find a little more peace this week as we use Christ's atonement in our lives and bless other's lives as we strive to become more forgiving.  This is my prayer, in the name of Jesus Christ amen.